Rolla Holla! 8-12-08 The MTC Roller Coasta!

Oh family! The outside world. I found out yesterday, for the first time, that you DO still exist! It was so good to hear from some of you. Distance makes this heart grow fonder for each one of you EVERY DAY! So many fun and exciting things go down at this MTC. Some quick cool ones: Ok, check this out. So, one day my companion Elder Davis and I are teaching a lesson, and I look at one of his thumbs and it's half the size of his other one. So, I'm like ELDER, what the heck is up with your thumb? So, it turns out when he was young he got it slammed in a sliding van door. The thumb was utterly obliterated, so they had to put somebody else's TOE on in it's place. CRAZY! And it really looks like a little minerature Thumb Toe. Hilarious. So, I laughed for like 20 minutes at that. Unbelievable right? Well, it totally seemed plausible to me. Then, 3 days later he tells us it was all a LIE! It's just hereditary. Then I realized how crazy the story was, and I laughed again for a good 15 minutes, both times to tears. I love my companions! Oh, one experience that I love is a tradition in my residence Hall. Every Sunday evening people are preparing to leave the next day. So, we gather in the Pasijo, or hall, and sing Hasta Ver together, and then they bear testimony. It's a powerful experience every time. There's a gap between those that just left and my district: we are nearly the most Senior Elders here now. Crazy! After only 2 weeks! Oh, here's a fun fact about my stay here at the MTC: every day we walk from our building to our classroom (where we spend 12 hours of the day either in class or studying). On the way we pass a statue of the Church's first missionary, Samuel H Smith, with his Book of Mormon and Nap Sack. Every time, without fail, one of the Trio will say something like, "Looking chipper this morning Samuel," or "Had a rough night, Sammi ma boy." It's gotten kind of ridiculous, but we always laugh at it. Hey, we're 19-21 year old boys trapped on a campus of learning, what would you do :-) ! I also love the tender mercies we see here. While here I've seen the brightest rainbow of my life, heard the best a capella harmony after a 12 hour day of classes, heard my companion play beautiful hymns on the piano while I study, and most of all, over and over, felt peace. It's so wonderful! And yet, It's a rollercoaster of emotions here at the MTC. Lucky for me, the steady hand of my Savior keeps me moving onward and upward, working hard, through pain, fear, or inadequacy. I had a TIRING bout with the last of these at the end of last week (Fri and Sat the 8th and 9th). I was working hard, learning a lot, but felt the STRONG need to do more. I was HARD on myself, and I mean hard. My comps noticed my renewed, less jovial, more soul-gasping disposition (that's the best way I can think to describe it). As I beat myself up and drove my internal engine HARDER and HARDER, I got quieter and more introspective. THEN, in a moment of clarity, I saw, after only a day or two, the pain I was causing (which remained, albeit, ENTIRELY beneath the surface) by my quiet isolation. I SWIFTLY apologized. Thus humbld, I was able to look over my planner and SEE that I was in fact LESS successful or effective when I was so hard on myself. I saw that the narrow peephole of focus on ME ME ME, through which I was seeing the world, was acting as a blinder to my own progress and happiness.
BUT seeing and helping with the problems of OTHERS brought me into the light. I became more happy. BUT, and here is the revelation, I was also able to develop a plan, a broad vision, beyond the here and now, one from 1000 feet. now, my actions are coordinated in harmony to achieve those Week, month, MTC, or mission goals. I don't stress or beat myself up. I'm happy. I'm productive. Life is good. And so the week continued on. I got a LOT more done. Then, yesterday, receiving your letters and love, SHOOK me out of something I didn't even know I was in! I had forgotten who I was -- Kyler McCarty, the person. And YOU reminded me. I read your letters and was full of joy and renewed EXCITEMENT to compliment my happy effectiveness. And this all in less than one week! The MTC really is holy ground. It's like a magnifying glass that shows me my weakness and then refracts the light of my heavenly father to burn them away. They truly become my strengths (Ether 12:27). And trust me, it's not just this place. Not EVERY Elder here experiences this phenomenon. I've been working hard with the help of my Savior. I know that EACH of us can experience this growth. The scripture above SHOWS that it is our promise! I have the opportunity to devote ALL my time to it right now, and being stretched this quickly takes a lot out of me. But the way God intended us to live is to always, consistently, and STEADILY do this. I invite each of you to set goals and grow. Not only is it good for you, but MAN IS IT FUN! No matter where you are emotionally or spiritually, God wants you to grow and is just waiting for you to ask him to help you!
I love you all! Keep those letters coming!
Elder Kyler James Rolla McCarty
(no spell check, no time, Sorry!)